nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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