So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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