i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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