ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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