i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
