Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize