I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
