i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
