i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
