just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
