chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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