Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
