apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
