We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
