She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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