I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
