"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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