You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
