she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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