Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
