Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
you guys were way drunker than both of me
My pussy is not your playground.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
