Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
