as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
