So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
