I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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