im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
