all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
