marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Whod you bang
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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