He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
