I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
