Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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