Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
