Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
