I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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