when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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