Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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