I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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