I must be too annoying 4 u.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
