I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
