When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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