Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
