It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
