I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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