i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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