He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
