k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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