Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Damn victory sex feels great
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
where are my eyebrows?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
