You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
