U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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