jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
