In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
