yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
