Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
