Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize