theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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