she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
