I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
