...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
