whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
