As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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